I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
