Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
