Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
