Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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