i barfeds in our rink
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
