i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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