she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
