It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Alive.
So much puke
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
