# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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