PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
