I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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