you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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