He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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