she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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