hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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