Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
