I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
