What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
