I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
