I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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