i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have aggressive nipples.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
