Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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