Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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