i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
