It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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