she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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