HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
