so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
