I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
