you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
