ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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