i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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