did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
