I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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