I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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