the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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