dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
