fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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