I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
