You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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