I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
