ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
