Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
