Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
