Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My pussy is not your playground.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
