i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
