Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
