I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
