you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
