Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Please don't give away my fajitas
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
